Bilibili Milestone
One thing worth celebrating (probably the only thing) is that my Bilibili account broke 1,000 followers. Even though our AC site is already a total mess, I still threw together a ridiculously crude poster and posted it
Ridiculously crude
I can't deny that this achievement came from making stream clips for @饼里有虫, but in a way it's been mutually beneficial, since Bingzi also hit 100k followers
Every Comfort Zone Shattered
As for everything else, it's been deteriorating in the worst possible way. Simply put, I've gradually lost my sense of belonging. I used to idle in QQ group chats all day, and now I'm lucky if I manage to send a few messages across a couple of groups each day
To borrow a phrase from a certain Suiye, I'm just a failed investment
Whatever. I have zero goodwill left for [DATA EXPUNGED]. All I see is my mistakes being doubly stigmatized, and nothing else
Everything I once created has become ammunition against me. It's kind of laughable when you think about it. Honestly, I brought it all on myself, so I have no right to change how people see me. Might as well just let them have their way
Once I realized things were never going to turn out the way I wanted, I chose to become the clown and put myself on the [DATA EXPUNGED] official website's blacklist
Then what happened matched my expectations exactly. Nobody bothered to fix that page, and I got so pissed off by the "why is this guy still here" attitude that I quit the [DATA EXPUNGED] external group outright
Yeah, it's all completely ruined
I'm an idiot
Dabbling in New Directions
I didn't even realize I've been registered on GitHub for 4 years already
One thing that's better this year compared to previous ones is that my GitHub commit count went up a lot. Along the way, I also migrated some of my purely static websites to the GitHub + Cloudflare Pages setup, which cut down a lot of server traffic. Even though I still don't use up my monthly bandwidth, at least my sites can keep running even after I run out of money to renew the server
I also put together new docs for https://github.com/BalloonUpdate , though I've slacked off on them since, since all the essential content is already done
This year I also tried my hand at some cultural merchandise, all of them rail transit route maps. They were fun to make, but my right shoulder blade is slowly getting injured from it
There's also one for Nanning, but I'm not planning to release it yet, since it hasn't been properly polished and would take a while to adjust
Afterword
I honestly don't feel like writing a post to review my 2024, since it was a total disaster. The year just drifted by in a daze, and I can't even say what I actually did. Everything feels like it's just the same as last year, utterly terrible, and I've managed to drag myself into a low point while refusing to see a therapist. I'm basically a machine running with a fault
But what can I do about it? Life is a choice I made myself. Am I supposed to just blow up at the world? Not very likely
Being in a daze isn't so bad, is it? After all, I still have ACG to sink into and shut myself away
Oh right, sleeping until the heat death of the universe sounds pretty good too
2024 Wrap-Up · It Sucked, and I Blew Up at the World
2024 Wrap-Up · It Sucked, and I Blew Up at the World