Bilibili Small Achievement
One thing worth making me happy (probably the only thing) is that my Bilibili account surpassed 1000 followers, although our AC site has already become a complete mess, and I even made an extremely crude poster and posted it.
Extremely Crude
Although it's undeniable that this achievement came from making live stream clips of @饼里有虫, to some extent it's also mutually beneficial, after all, Bingzi also has 100k followers now.
Comfort Zone Completely Shattered
As for other things, it can be said they have evolved in a terrible way. Simply put, I'm gradually losing my sense of belonging. I used to chat in QQ groups every day, but now I'm lucky if I can send a few messages in a few groups each day.
To borrow a phrase from a certain Suiye, I'm just a failed investment.
Whatever. I have no goodwill left for [DATA EXPUNGED]. All I see is that my mistakes are being doubly stigmatized. As for the rest, I can't see it.
Everything I once created has become a reason to attack me. In a way, it's quite laughable. To put it bluntly, I brought it upon myself. So I have no right to correct others' views of me. Might as well just let them have their way.
After realizing things could never satisfy me, I chose to become a clown and wrote myself into the blacklist on the [DATA EXPUNGED] official website.
Then what happened matched my expectations. No one corrected that page, and I was directly angered by the "why is this person still here" attitude and quit the external group of [DATA EXPUNGED].
It's just completely rotten.
I'm an idiot.
Small Endeavors in New Directions
I didn't even realize I've been registered on GitHub for 4 years.
One thing better this year compared to previous years is that my GitHub commit count has increased a lot. During this time, I also took the opportunity to convert some of my purely static websites to the GitHub + Cloudflare Pages model, significantly reducing server traffic consumption. Although the monthly traffic is still not fully used up, at least my websites can still run even if I can't afford to renew the server.
I also created new documentation for https://github.com/BalloonUpdate, though I've now slacked off on it since the essential content is already done.
Also this year, I tried making some cultural and creative products, all of them being rail transit route maps. Although making them was satisfying, my right shoulder blade gradually got injured.
There's also one for Nanning, but I'm not planning to release it yet because it hasn't been properly polished, and adjusting it would take a lot of time.
Afterword
I actually didn't really want to write an article commenting on my 2024, because it was utterly terrible. 2024 passed in a daze. I can't really say what I did this year. It feels like everything is just like last year, terribly rotten. I even drove myself into a low point and refused to see a psychologist. I'm just a machine operating with an illness.
But what can I do? Life is my own choice. Could I just be done with this world? Not really possible, right?
Being in a daze is also good, isn't it? After all, there's still ACG to let me immerse myself.
Oh right, sleeping until the heat death of the universe sounds pretty good too.